The project began with an introduction to Wrest Park and the concept of gardens as designed spaces that hold human stories. The group learned about the site’s history, particularly the influence of Jemima, Marchioness Grey and her husband Philip Yorke, 2^nd Earl of Hardwicke, whose visions helped shape the landscape seen today. Rather than focusing solely on historical chronology, discussions centred on why people create gardens, what stories places can tell, and how outdoor spaces can become sites of reflection, remembrance and sanctuary.

A guided walk through the gardens and house encouraged the group to think about how the landscape made them feel. Travelling from the learning space through the formal gardens and to the Chinoiserie (‘Chinese wallpaper’) room, the group was invited to engage in slow looking and observation, noticing plants, features of the landscape and interior design, and their emotional responses to the space. The site was explored as a place that could feel peaceful, restorative and reflective.

Storytelling through wildflowers

Sophie introduced the group to the history of flower symbolism and discussed why people have historically attached meanings to plants. Chums bereavement counsellor Danny shared the story of Zeus and the Forget-Me-Not, providing an example of how stories can become attached to flowers over time. Sophie then taught the group about a range of UK native wildflowers, most of which the group hadn’t heard of before.

Many of the flowers had no established symbolic meanings, so the group were challenged to create their own. Working collaboratively, they developed stories, fables and personal meanings inspired by the flowers’ names and characteristics. They sketched and recorded these ideas before arranging images of the native flowers on a large sheet of paper to create a visual narrative and design for a memorial bed. The resulting collage told stories through the placement and relationships between different plants. This process enabled the group to visualise where they should plant their flowers and how it would look.

Throughout the session, stories and quotations connected to former owner Jemima Grey’s love of the gardens were woven into discussions. The group considered the idea that places themselves can be treasured and loved, reinforcing the project’s central theme of sanctuary as a place where experiences and emotions can be held. We provided sketchbooks as a way for participants to continue observing nature and recording thoughts, drawings and reflections during and between sessions.

Planting the bed

After designing the collage for our memorial bed, the group met Andrew, Wrest Park’s Head Gardener, who shared his horticultural knowledge in how to plant the bed. The group revisited the design they had created during the storytelling session, recalled the names and meanings they had given to their chosen plants, and prepared to translate their plans into a physical garden with Andrew’s guidance.

With Andrew’s help, the group learned practical gardening skills, including how to lay out plants, considering height and layering, judging spacing, and using gardening tools safely, and understanding what plants need in order to thrive. Initially, some of the group were reluctant to get their hands dirty, but over the course of the activity everyone became involved in the planting process. The group worked collaboratively to position and plant the flowers according to their original design.

Alongside the practical side of the session, Danny encouraged the group to think about planting as a metaphor. The group reflected on how growth and change often happen gradually and can remain unseen for some time, much like the quieter changes that occur through grief.

The session concluded with reflective conversation and mindfulness activities focused on grounding and the sensory experience of gardening.

Our third session explored how objects can carry memory and meaning. Returning to the story of the former owners of Wrest, the group learned about Henry, Duke of Kent (Jemima’s grandfather), who erected a monument in the gardens to commemorate the death of his first wife, Jemima Crewe. He also commissioned a mourning ring for his lost wife. Henry’s eldest daughter and eldest son both died young and are also commemorated with statues in the garden; in fact, ten of Henry’s children died before him and many of them are also memorialised in the family mausoleum nearby.

Through these examples, rooted in the history of the site, the group discussed the role mourning objects and spaces of reflection have played historically in helping people express grief, remember loved ones and make visible what are often private and internal emotions.

The session was led by Wrest Park and CHUMS volunteer Richard Luscombe, who also discussed wider Victorian mourning customs, including the wearing of black clothing, prescribed mourning periods and the role that memorial objects played within society. The group considered how grief was represented in the past and how approaches to bereavement differ today. Discussions also examined how rituals and objects can provide comfort and acknowledgement during experiences of loss.

Mourning and remembrance at Wrest

The group viewed Wrest’s mourning ring, which contains a lock of Jemima’s hair, a common practice that provided a tangible connection to a loved one after their death. While Henry’s commissioning of a statue and space in the gardens offered a lasting landscape of memory and reflection, the ring allowed Jemima’s memory to remain close in a more personal and portable form. The group discussed how plants and natural environments are often associated with reflection and mourning (such as arboretums), and these conversations  encouraged the group to think about how both objects and places can become sources of comfort.

Intergenerational conversations about loss

A particularly significant moment occurred when Richard shared his own experience of bereavement, speaking about the loss of his daughter Becki, who died by suicide. He showed the group a small rubber duck that he carries in her memory. His openness encouraged the group to share their own experiences and discuss meaningful objects connected to loved ones, including memory boxes, photographs and bears made from family members’ clothing. The discussion helped normalise experiences of loss that are often difficult to talk about openly.

Clay object-making workshop

Building on these discussions and with Danny’s guidance, the group took part in a clay object-making workshop. Inspired by the mourning ring and its symbolism, the group were invited to create an object that represented sanctuary or reminded them of someone important that they could keep close if they wanted.

All chose to create objects connected to loved ones they had lost. The activity provided the group with agency to express feelings and experiences through making, while reinforcing the project’s focus on memory, meaning and personal reflection.

The final session took place approximately four weeks after the planting day and provided an opportunity for the group to revisit the memorial garden they had created together. Everybody reflected on what it felt like to return to the space and considered the stories and meanings embedded within the garden they had created.

The group observed how much the flowers had grown since planting and Danny spoke about how the garden offered a tangible representation of growth, resilience and continuity.

A token to complete the bed

A creative reflection activity invited everybody to decorate pebbles that Danny had brought along. Each person added words, symbols or images that felt meaningful to them, inspired by the project, before placing the pebbles within the garden. The resulting installation became a further contribution to the shared memorial space. This session was intentionally relaxed, allowing time for conversation, reflection and enjoyment of the garden.

Parents commented on the calmness and tranquillity they experienced while spending time in the gardens. Over the course of the project, several young people became more confident, formed friendships and increasingly engaged with both the activities and one another. Parents also reflected on the value of taking part in a project specifically focused on bereavement support, describing such opportunities as rare and much needed, and enabling them to have a safe space to reflect on their own loss too.

The session concluded with informal reflection and evaluation activities exploring participants’ experiences of sanctuary, the stories they remembered most strongly, what they had learned about Wrest Park and how they felt within the gardens.